well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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