Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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