he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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