If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
