Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This is my life. Enjoy the view
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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