Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
