I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
