Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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