Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i came on her dog
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
