I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
they need to just BURY HIM!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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