I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
