Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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