I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize