hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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