What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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