go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
