You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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