We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
