He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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