I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
