i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
