Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
