spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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