you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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