he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
