I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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