so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
