She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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