no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
