I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
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You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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