Whod you bang
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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