I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Houston, we have a blender
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
