I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
