i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
