Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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