this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
