I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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