Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
