yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
