I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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