? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
