then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
