my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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