so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
