i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
