she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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