you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
