he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
