you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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