i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
