the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
how drunk are you?
Several
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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