I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
