well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
