In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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