youre lurking in front of me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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