I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
