girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You have to summon your inner elephant
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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