i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
