Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
