we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
