'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
