look no pants
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
